1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not
lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just #$%^ off and leave me
alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
3.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do
it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. No one is
listening until you make a mistake.
6. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone
else.
7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
8. It may be that your sole purpose
in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good
qualities without your help.
10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.
11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you
criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is
not for you.
13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat
& drink beer all day.
14. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth
it.
15. Don't squat with your spurs on.
17. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause
people.
18. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
19. The quickest way
to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
20. Duct tape is like the force; it
has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. |
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