Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre
Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate
me."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or
1,500 yards, whichever comes
first."
And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say "I'd run over
my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom
too."
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a
genius.. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he
takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too
damn ugly to kiss
goodbye."
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no
matter how long it takes."
Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic
requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your
brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again
with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not
Princeton."
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above
his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my @#%#%@ clothes."
Shaquille
O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs
that we went to."
Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college
and pro."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
Pat Williams,
Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general
manager, I just can't figure out where else to play." (1992)
Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, when asked what
terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants
Texas back." (1981)
Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries
that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about
getting a nose in condition for football?" (1966)
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans
that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
(1991)
Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not
allowed to comment on lousy
officiating." (1986)
Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday
nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker." (1991)
Lincoln Kennedy,
Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
(1996)
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it
ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'" (1991)
Shelby Metcalf,
basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like
you're spending too much time on one subject." (1987) |
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