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Funny Facts

Iceland has no railway system or army!

To sell your home faster, and for more money, paint it yellow.

Avocados are poisonous to birds.

Cats make over 100 different vocal sounds; dogs can make about ten.

A baby octopus is about the size of a flea at birth.

Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe!

Astronauts get taller when they are in space.

Indoor pollution is 10 times more toxic than outdoor pollution.

In what country will you find the most Universities? India.

Tablecloths were originally meant to serve as towels with which guests could wipe their hands and faces after dinner.

The venom of a small scorpion is much more toxic than the venom of a large scorpion.

People that suffer from gum disease are twice as likely to have a stroke or heart attack.

Crocodiles swallow stones to help them dive deeper.

One percent of Greenland's population lives in a single apartment building!

Warren Beatty once worked as a rat-catcher!

Vultures fly without flapping their wings.

The state sport of Maryland is Jousting.

The best time for a person to buy shoes is in the afternoon. This is because the foot tends to swell a bit around this time.

The Bible is the most-shoplifted book in the world.

The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

Kite flying is a professional sport in Thailand.

Perspiration is odorless; it is the bacteria on the skin that creates an odor.

In Florida, It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

A shrimp's heart is in its head.

A blue whale's heart is the size of a Volkswagen Beetle!

Lake Nicaragua in Nicaragua is the only fresh water lake in the world that has sharks.

There was no punctuation until the 15th century.

The Dallas/Ft. Worth airport is larger than New York City's Manhattan Island.

In Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this more that a hundred years before either moon was discovered!

More people in China speak English than in the United States.

Senegalese women spend an average of 17.5 hours a week just collecting water.

Approximately 115 tons of ocean salt spray enters the earth's atmosphere each second.

The average coach airline meal costs the airline $4.00. The average first class meal: $50.

Americans are responsible for generating roughly 20% percent of the garbage in the world.

The average office desk has 400 times more bacteria than a toilet.

The city of Las Vegas has the most hotel rooms in the world.

Linen is actually stronger when wet.

It is now possible to print human skin with an inkjet printer!

While 7 men in 100 have some form of color blindness, only 1 woman in 1,000 suffers from it.

15 million gallons of wine were destroyed in the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.

Up to the age of six or seven months a child can breathe and swallow at the same time. An adult cannot do this.

35% of the people using personal ads for dating are already married!

Neanderthal man had a brain capcity 100cc larger than modern man's.

Marlboro cigarettes sold in New York contain more tar and nicotine than those sold in all other states!

In Brazil, Christmas is celebrated with fireworks.

Only two in one thousand diamonds are considered truly colorless.

On average women can hear better than men.

If you shake a can of mixed nuts, the larger ones will rise to the top.

Fine-grained volcanic ash can be found as an ingredient in some toothpastes.

 

Funny Insults

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

Yo momma like a stop sign: She's on every corner.

Eventually, you will get what you asked for.

When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

Yo momma's so fat when she farts its almost like a volcanic eruption.

I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.

A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.

Yo momma like a refrigerator: Everyone puts their meat in!

Yo momma's so stupid she walked past the YMCA and said look, somebody spelled MACY'S wrong.

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

You're so skinny, that you use a bandaid as a maxi-pad.

Yo momma like a revolving door: Everyone gets a turn.

I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.

I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!

Are your parents siblings?

I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes!

Yo momma's so stupid she stared at an orange juice box because it said concentrate

He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling -- in your skull?

Yo momma like a golf course: Everyone gets a hole in one!

You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light.

You are the answer to my prayer!! I prayed to find out if things could get worse!!

Your so dumb you spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for a door knob!

Yo momma like a 7-11. On every corner and always open.

I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

Yo momma's so stupid she climbed a glass wall to what was on the other side

And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?

If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.

Take a vacation; go to Club Dead.

Yo momma so stinky she make Right Guard turn left!

I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.

Yo momma like a vacuum cleaner: A real good suck.

Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

I'll hit you so hard you'll have to unzip your pants to say hi!

All of your ancestors must number in the millions; its hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.

A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes.

When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen."

Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

You're so dumb you think Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!

The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.

I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change.

If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!

Die Yuppie Scum!

When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.

You will never be able to live down to your reputation!

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

 
 
 

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